This time of year is always so stressful the malls are packed and everyone just seems to be in a bad mood. Christmas to me isn't just about buying people presents or recieveing them... which I love getting things. But it is my LORDS birthday and the meaning of christmas is to love him and to love others, not worrying about if the person you got a present will even like it or about how much you spent on it.
God has gave me many presents and I am so thankful for them even the small ones. My kids, my family, health, and many other things. This past weekend has made me so thankful for my life and the ones in it. I was having some chest pain that I threw off as gas in my chest, come to know I was having heart palpataions every fifth heartbeat which I didn't even know what that was and it scared me I really thought something bad was going to happen to me. I can handle problems with my stomach and having problems with pregnancy which all I have been through but having a problem with my heart was something I wasn't ready to go through.
The stuff I have taken forgranted I don't anymore because I never know how much time I have or the people I know have. I am not going to go through life anymore being a unhappy person just because my hair doesn't look right or because my weight isn't where I want it to be. Because in Gods eyes I am beautiful... he isn't looking on my outside but what is on my inside. I go tomorrow for a echo on my heart and than back to the doctor thrusday to find out what is going wrong. I am not worrying about it and I am leaving it to God... Maybe this was something to pull me out of the slump I have been in and to be truely thankful for what I do have.
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