My Love Letter to GOD!!

You know everything about me... you know How many hairs are on my head and how many times I have cried, You are there in times of need and in times of happiness. I don't always feel you there but I know you are because you promised us this. As I look back on the life you gave me, The parents you blessed me with and my family now. I am so thankful and you have gave me the best gift, You gave me JESUS. All my sins are casted away and you know how many I had and you know I was stupid back there for doing them and not wanting to be different like you made me to be.

I have always felt like I wasn't suppose to be like everyone but be like myself and I have such a hard problem doing this. Help me become what you want me to be. My kids are my world and I know you know this, Thank you for letting me have the gift of family I know alot of people can't have kids and I thank you for letting me be one that could ,I came real close to not being able to though.



I don't always give you the praise you deserve to have and I know I can always do better. I thank you for being there for me when gabriel passed away I feel so bad for that because I had to abort him, not for my own reason but my water had broke and I had a 80% chance of getting a deadly infection and I know you know all of this but sometimes I just need to let it out. Sometimes I think what if I just would of kept him in me and went on not worrying about getting the infection?? although I think It would of killed me and I couldn't leave gideon without a mom. Plus you gave me Noah which I love soo much and I know gabriel would of loved him to. I went to his grave yesterday and even though I know hes not there it still kinda hurts.

Thank you for giving me a good husband, Josh is great and I love him tons but for some reason I am cold to him. Nothing hurts me when it comes to him and I don't understand why?? I just feel like I live with him and not married to him. He does everything for me and sometimes I feel bad cause I do take advantage of that. I just wish we could have a better realtionship. I know my past relationships have messed my head all up and John hurt me so bad with him passing away and the lies I was told. When I get something good I just can't see it.

I remember when I was always a happy person and excited about things, I never really get excited about anything anymore I should be excited about everything. I just pray that you lead me in the right path because I want you to be proud of me. I love you God!!